Natural dialogue is commonly edited speech: shorter, more selective, and more indirect than real conversation. When deciding how to write natural dialogue, keep what serves your character's purpose and cut what merely fills the conversation. For the wider craft, read the guide to writing screenplay dialogue, part of the screenwriting guides.
Edit a conversation into natural dialogue
- Name what each speaker wants
Give each person something to seek or avoid. Tess wants the rent money; Mara wants to finish packing without paying.
- Cut greetings that change nothing
Writers commonly remove greetings, goodbyes, and small talk that carry no conflict. Start this exchange with Tess noticing the kettle going into Mara's box.
- Give each fact a reason to be spoken
Writers commonly give information a purpose and someone who resists it. Have Tess demand the rent money rather than explain their living arrangement.
- Cut explanations the action already supplies
Let Mara's packing show that she's leaving. Keep her dialogue focused on avoiding Tess's demand.
- Read the exchange aloud
Notice where a phrase makes your mouth stumble. Replace formal wording with words this character would choose while packing or arguing.
How do you avoid an info dump?
- Information dump
- Also called Info dump
- An information dump is a speech whose main purpose is to tell the audience facts.
In this exchange, Tess needs money before Mara leaves. That gives her a reason to mention rent, but not to explain that they're roommates.
INT. APARTMENT KITCHEN - DAY
MARA packs a kettle into a box. TESS enters.
TESS
Hello, Mara. How are you?
MARA
I'm fine, thanks. As you know, I'm moving out of our shared apartment today.
TESS
Yes, and the rent is due. You haven't given me your rent money, which I need before you leave.
MARA
I intend to send it after I have finished moving.
INT. APARTMENT KITCHEN - DAY
MARA lowers a kettle into a packing box. TESS catches the handle.
TESS
You're taking the kettle?
MARA
It's mine.
TESS
Rent's due.
MARA
I was going to--
TESS
Leave the money.
MARA
I'll send it.
TESS
Before you take the kettle.
Mara sets the kettle on the counter. Tess keeps hold of the handle.
The edited version keeps the unpaid rent and removes the explanation of their shared home. Tess now uses that fact to hold up Mara's departure. Mara's promise answers the demand without agreeing to pay before leaving.
A double hyphen commonly marks an interruption. Here, Tess cuts off Mara's explanation.
How do you test dialogue by reading it aloud?
Read for what each speaker is trying to get, not just whether the words sound conversational. In the original exchange, Mara's formal promise explains her plan; in the revision, it tries to get Tess's hand off the kettle. Listen for lines that explain the situation but give the other person nothing to answer.